Warning! (D is for Don’t)

Don’t ever agree (even to yourself) to commit to something you aren’t sure you can follow up on.

I’m only on the fourth day of this A-Z blogging challenge and already I feel more disconnected and disjointed from my writing then I have for a long time. Perhaps it’s because I’m sick with a cough and cold so the only thing I can think of is when I can go to bed.

I suppose an alternate title for this post could be titled Dried Up Creativity. That would be fairly accurate. I’m hoping I can gather more enthusiasm (E) for tomorrow.

On Coughs, Colds, and Carrying On

My head is aching from
This lousy sinus cold that’s been going around.
The Tylenol I’m popping just isn’t cutting it.
As soon as one cough drop is finished I start
Another one although the soothing action promised
On the wrapper is limited at best.

I feel miserable
And long to crawl under the covers to sleep it off
But I continue to carry on,
With a pocketful of cough drops and Kleenexes–
some used, some new.
At this point, I don’t really care.

Chugging from a bottle of Sudafed,
I sign the field trip consent form,
RSVP to a birthday party,
Search for a missing rubber boot
And listen to my eldest
Do his daily Home Reading.

Woman Blowing Nose (Mojpe, Pixabay)

I’m a mom.
There’s no time for me
To have a cough or a cold or
God forbid,
a combination of the two.

There is only cough syrup,
Kleenex, and
Carrying on.

If you would like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74(at)gmail(dot)com or tweet me @JudyAmy74

 

A-B: Anyone Can Have an Eating Disorder

I’ve been considering doing this A-Z blogging challenge and I’m already 2 days behind, so I thought I’d knock off two letters at the same time. It’s a topic I’ve written about before but tonight I stumbled across the following article:

http://www.bustle.com/articles/16685-im-a-fat-woman-who-had-an-eating-disorder-and-no-the-two-are-not-mutually

In the article, McCarthy talks about how her eating disorder went unnoticed by doctors, friends, and family because she was overweight. I find her story to be really sad, and I completely relate to it. In a way, I was lucky. When I began my long journey through anorexia and bulimia, I was thin. When I was considered as “cured” as I was going to be by doctors years later, I was even thinner. For many years, when I opened up to people about my eating disorder, they immediately felt sorry for me and had nothing but words of comfort and support.

Over the last four and a half years (basically since I had the twins) I have gained a lot of weight, and many would now consider me fat. It’s what I call myself when I look in the mirror, not in a “You go, girl!” sort of way, but in a “You’re pathetic!” way. I’ve noticed something though in the last few years. When I open up to someone about my eating disorder, I am now met with surprise, off-colour jokes, and outright disbelief. (“Everyone thinks they had an eating disorder.”) and I’m pretty sure the reason they respond like this is because of my weight. Many people assume (and tell me) that I was bulimic only and not also anorexic, because, well, I’m fat.

This harms and hurts me more than these people can know.

When you have experienced an eating disorder, the issues never go away.  I weigh more than I ever have in my entire life and yet I continue to have eating and food issues every day. There is never a day when I am free from feeling disgust, shame, guilt, or disappointment about eating. And when I try to reach out only to be pushed away because of my weight, it really affects me.

This is a very real issue. The bottom line is that anyone regardless of size or shape can have a serious eating disorder and if someone reaches out to you, listen. Don’t judge them based on your misperceptions. Believe them and believe in them. Everyone deserves this, not just the stereotypes.

If you would like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74(at)gmail(dot)com or tweet me @JudyAmy74

Z is for Tomayto, Tomahto

I haven’t forgotten my promise to make it through the alphabet with my blogging, but I’m really pretty tired of having “z” hanging over my head. I don’t like writing about things that don’t interest me which is why it’s taken me so long to get through this alphabet and also, why I am stuck on z. But I’m cleaning house to start the year fresh which means by hook or by crook, I’m going to finish off this alphabet. It doesn’t matter that it’s now February; 2015 is still pretty fresh, right? Humour me, folks. I could write about how I’m looking pretty zäftig post-Valentine’s Day, but to be honest the zäftig nature of my body has been steadily increasing ever since the twins were born. Which isn’t encouraging. Nor is it particularly interesting for me to write about.

http://www.fromoldbooks.org
Historiated decorative initial capital letter Z in Blue [1659]

So, here’s what I’ve come up with. The most basic of basics. Z. To my fellow Canadians and to you Brits, “zed”, to you Yanks, “zee”. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a traditionalist and will always put the “u” in “honour” and “colour” and write the colour grey with an e, regardless of what spell check tries to tell me. It looks better. It’s Canadian. As am I.

And yet, ever since I was young, I’ve wanted to say “zee.”  Only at a very specific time, mind you. I remember learning the alphabet song with my mum and wishing that I could sing “zee” for that last letter, but my British-Canadian mother was having none of it. We are Canadian, she’d say. We say zed. But it doesn’t rhyme, I’d say. Even at a young age, my poet’s sensibility knew that something was amiss. I’ve been uncomfortable with that song ever since.

Recently the twins have been asking me to sing the alphabet song with them and every time we get close to that line, I tense up. I don’t know what to do. Do I stop them when they sing “zed” as they’ve heard their Nursery School teachers sing it? I usually just mumble when we get to that part and join in loudly again on “Next time won’t you sing with me?”

At least they get to sing it. I remember specifically avoiding singing that song with H. when he was smaller for this exact reason. It’s a wonder that kid learned his letters at all. And now he’s come home singing it in French . . . god help me.

P.S. I feel as though I need to add that I am not a rhyming fanatic. Most of my favourite poems don’t rhyme. But there’s something about the rhythm and cadence and flow to this simple song that makes me want to say “zee”. At no other time do I want to pronounce this letter as anything else but “zed”. Crazy, I know!

If you would like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74(at)gmail(dot)com or tweet me @JudyAmy74

Y is for Yoshimoto, Banana

I discovered Banana Yoshimoto‘s writing when I worked for a few months in a really terribly run bookstore. The manager was a transplant from ToysRUs and I’m not sure she read anything other than The National Enquirer or Weekly World News. She brought over most of her ToysRUs staff to be in supervisory positions, most of whom might have known a lot about toys but didn’t really know very much about books. Which irritated the rest of us, who were either in the middle of or had finished either English Literature or Philosophy degrees. Very shortly the staff became divided. Us versus them. Actually, it was a lot less dramatic than that. Basically what it boiled down to was that those of us who truly loved books spent all our work days searching for new and interesting authors rather than restocking the Bargain books or rearranging the Romance section. We also went out for drinks every Sunday night after the bookstore closed and discussed our new finds. Kind of like a book club, but way cooler.

Amrita (novel) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of these discoveries was Banana Yoshimoto. I was drawn in first by her name, then the cover art on Amrita, and finally her writing. I started with Kitchen, and have just kept reading, finishing her most recent novel, The Lake, just last month. Her lyrical style has never let me down yet. The themes of love and loss never seem to become clichéd.  Yoshimoto claims that her two main themes are “the exhaustion of young Japanese in contemporary Japan” and “the way in which terrible experiences shape a person’s life”.¹ I’m not sure of the first theme, as I am neither young nor Japanese, but I definitely feel the second theme woven throughout her body of work. I think perhaps what I like best about Yoshimoto’s novels is the beauty in the imagery and the words. Some of this credit must also be given to her long time translator, Michael Emmerich, but a translator is only as good as the words he is given.

It’s hard for me to explain exactly why I love Yoshimoto’s work so much. I feel I’m not doing a very good job at expressing myself. If I could use only one word to describe her work, I think it would be lovely. All I really  know is that out of a rotten, crummy, part time job came something beautiful. My discovery of the truly beautiful work of Banana Yoshimoto.

1. http://www.japancoolture.com/en/banana-yoshimoto-and-the-young

If you would like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74(at)gmail(dot)com or tweet me @JudyAmy74

 

X is for X-Rated

It’s been a long time since I’ve worked on my alphabet series. W kind of took off, and then came X. I hate alphabet books because of the letter X. It’s always the same–xylophone, or for extremely lazy wordsmiths, it’s Xmas or something like that. I guess I’m an extremely lazy wordsmith, since I don’t really have a proper X word to write about either.

X is for X-rated. Pornography. It’s out there. Everywhere. It’s easier than ever to access, even if you’re not really looking for it. Google Traditional Folk Dances and you’ll see what I mean. Parents like to think that their children are protected from this sort of thing by putting parental controls on the computers and having the computers in a communal area of the home, but with over 80% of boys watching porn online by the time they’re 18, it’s hard to say “it’s not my kid”.¹ It’s pretty much everyone’s kids. Including our own.

I’ve been spending my free time today researching for this post by reading articles about teenagers and pornography, listening to radio programmes on the subject, and watching documentaries. It makes for a pretty depressing Friday night. And I still don’t even know where to begin. So here’s the deal:

Listen to the radio program, Ideas: Generation Porn to get a (mainly) male perspective on the subject.

If you are in Canada, watch the documentary, Sext up Kids to get a (mainly) female perspective on the subject. If you’re not in Canada, you can access a radio interview with the director.

And for god’s sake, talk to your kids. Honestly. Without shame. About real world sex.

Footnotes

1. Sext up kids. Dir. Maureen Palmer. Perf. Ann-Marie MacDonald. Media Education Foundation, 2012. Film.

Further Reading:

Telegraph Article on Better Sex Education

BBC Article on Pornography Education in Schools

CBC Sext Up Kids Documentary Facts and Resources

If you would like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74(at)gmail(dot)com or tweet me @JudyAmy74

 

 

 

 

W is for Why? (Part 3 of a Three Part Series)

Somehow when I first started writing my W post about Why, I realized that I couldn’t write it all as one post. I found there were three distinct things I wanted to say about the diversity and acceptance or lack thereof in children’s clothing. However, now that I’ve written Part 1 and Part 2, I can’t for the life of me think of what the third part of my Why question was.

So apologies, friends. I’ve misled you. There is no deep why query in this post. No thought provoking, well thought out, “eloquently written” piece of writing here. (if you are wondering why I am flattering myself, check out W is for Wooed: https://thinkdreamdo.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/w-is-for-wooed-an-extra-w-bonus/) There’s just one word: why.

The why in this post is just that: why. Ask yourself why. Don’t just accept that you have to buy princess dresses for your daughter and steer your son towards the dinosaur shirts. If that’s what they want, that’s fine. But ask yourself why.

Ask yourself why it would make a difference to you if you saw a cute little 2 year-old boy dressed in the super comfortable (and cheap!) leggings that are marketed to parents of girls.

Ask yourself why you would limit your child by steering them towards a gender line they might not be comfortable with, or might not even be aware of. Let them be free. Let them imagine. Let them dream. Let them choose. Let them be.

Why? Because they are individuals. They are who they are.

Paques01 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you’d like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74@gmail.com or tweet me @JudyAmy74

W is for Why? Boys Don’t Cry (Part 2 of a 3 Part Series)

Why?

I have three children. One 5 almost 6 year old boy and 2 almost 2 and a half year old boy/girl twins. Out of my three children, two are very particular about what they want to wear. The third is largely unconcerned about his garments or even whether or not he needs to wear them.

I’ve written before about my eldest boy’s penchant for female clothing. My twins share a closet and dresser and my daughter will invariably go to Archer’s side of the dresser and pull out “boy’s” clothes to wear. She is not interested in anything other than jeans, sweat pants, and t-shirts. She will refuse to wear any of the lovely sweaters, skirts, or tights that are in her drawers. Thank goodness for friends and hand-me-downs so that at least I am not paying for these unworn items! I did manage to get her into a dress at Easter, but only over a pair of jeans. And this brings me to the “Why”  of this post.

I could dress Tamsin day after day after day in Archer’s clothes. And for the most part, I do. No one blinks an eye. People often comment on how cute she looks in boys clothes. One day we were at our gymnastics class and Archer happened to be wearing a pair of Tamsin’s tights with one of her shirts and she was in sweat pants and an oversized t-shirt. We had been going to this gymnastics class for a few months so I was more than a little surprised when two different people asked me, “What’s up with Archer’s outfit?” Not “What’s up with the way the twins are dressed?” or “It looks like Archer and Tamsin swapped wardrobes” but “What’s up with Archer’s outfit?”

I’ve even heard people with older daughters mention that they buy rain boots and snow boots in blue or black so that they can be handed down to their younger son. This is a fairly strong statement: I will not dress my son in girl’s clothing. I can’t count the number of times I have seen notices on my Multiples buy/sell group asking for “boy/girl items” for their young twins, but that “boy/boy items” would be okay too. Just not girl/girl. Again, that implicit statement that it’s okay for girls to wear boys clothes, but not for boys to wear girls clothes.

Today we went to pick Harris up from the bus stop on our balance bikes–both blue, since they were a gift. Tamsin chose a red spring jacket to wear with green piping, and Archer chose a yellow floral jacket. Perhaps some people walking by thought that Archer was a girl. That doesn’t matter to me. By allowing Archer and Tamsin the freedom to make their own choices, I let them know that these gender lines are largely irrelevant.

Don’t get me wrong–I know that there are lots of challenges facing girls in today’s world, and I am not looking forward to them as my daughter gets older. But one area where girls have it a lot easier is in the clothing department. They can wear whatever they want–princess dresses, sweat pants and t-shirt and no one will bat an eye. But try to put your boy in a pair of pink mittens and watch out!

stripes (Photo credit: arrowlili)

Harris never referred to pink as a “girl” colour until he started Kindergarten, where there are many kids who like to reinforce social conventions. He still likes pink, but he now tells people it’s a “girl” colour. Boy colours–girl colours–really? Somehow I don’t think Tamsin will have it quite as hard if she tells people her favourite colour is blue. And why is this? In some ways I’m afraid to find out. I’m afraid to ask my friend why she buys her daughter blue rain boots so that they can be handed down to her son, instead of the ones her daughter wants. I’m afraid to confront the people who comment on my son’s choice of wardrobe. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I’m afraid of their answers.

My guess is that if people stopped and thought about it, the reason would be fairly straightforward: Girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dogs’ tails. And never the twain shall meet. Unless, the girl happens to like mud puddles and wants to play hockey. We want our daughters to be strong, and independent. But the reverse isn’t true. Too often we steer away from buying our son a doll or a tea set. What message does this give? The message is clear: it’s not okay for our sons to be nurturing or soft. Boys don’t cry. We’ve come a long way, but I am still shocked by how strong gender stereotyping is, and how so many open-minded, liberal people (subconsciously or otherwise) buy into it. It is easier to follow the crowd and deny our sons certain items then to face the reactions of other (already judgmental) parents and outsiders. But in denying these things we are saying that boys shouldn’t be caring and nurturing.

There have been cases in the news in the last few years about parents who have decided to raise their children in a gender-neutral setting: the first being a couple in the UK, and more recently a couple in Canada. The couple in the UK, Beck Laxton and Kieran Cooper, decided to keep people in the dark about their child Sasha’s gender in order to challenge stereotypes. Laxton says she chose to do it “[b]ecause I wanted to avoid all that stereotyping. Stereotypes seem fundamentally stupid. Why would you slot people into boxes?”¹ Laxton asks a really good question–why would you slot people into boxes? Laxton compares gender stereotyping to horoscopes. “It’s like horoscopes: what could be stupider than thinking there are 12 types of personality that depend on when you were born? It’s so idiotic”¹ We don’t act this way toward adults. Imagine the reaction you would get if you questioned a male friend on his choice of a pink dress shirt. Or your sister-in-law on her preference for blue pants.

I know I couldn’t be as committed as Beck Laxton and Kieran Cooper at raising a child in a gender-neutral environment. (As some of my readers may know, I have a definite problem with commitment.) However, I do think it’s a brave and courageous thing that this couple is doing and I welcome the chance for discussion. A conversation is beginning. One which is not without its opponents. A columnist for the Daily Mail wrote that if people go against gender norms, society could be “brainwashed into pretending that the differences between male and female don’t exist–in order to reconstruct society into some unattainable utopia of sexual and gender identicality. The dual goal is to marginalise men and to upend society’s fundamental moral codes . . . Far from ushering in a better world, this threatens to stamp out the individual right to know what we are, and to rob us of humanity itself.”²

sunset (Photo credit: split.second™)

I must respectfully disagree with the Daily Mail columnist. I think that by allowing our children the freedom to be who they are, we are embodying the very definition of humanity. I myself would welcome a brighter, more rainbow coloured world fueled and powered by humanity and empathy.

 

Footnotes

1. Higginbotham, Emma. “Why I decided to raise my son ‘gender neutral’.” Cambridge News. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 May 2014. http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Home/Hes-pretty-in-pink-to-make-you-think-20012012.htm

2. Phillips, Melanie. “You’ve got to be a few sequins short of a tutu to raise your son as ‘gender neutral’.” Mail Online. Associated Newspapers, 22 Jan. 2012. Web. 21 May 2014. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2090369/Sasha-Laxton-Youve-got-sequins-short-tutu-raise-son-gender-neutral.html

Notes:

This post took a lot of time thinking and a lot of reading, but it’s finally done. While researching this topic, I came across many excellent websites. I invite you to read some of the articles, click on the videos, and do some thinking. Maybe even start a conversation. Here’s a few places to get you started:

To read an excellent article on the history of colour in children’s clothing go to: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/?all

To read an excellent article about the backlash faced by Sasha’s parents go to: http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/01/24/parents-who-hid-childs-gender-for-five-years-now-face-backlash/

To see an excellent and extremely funny video about boy/girl stereotypes go to: http://www.upworthy.com/when-its-done-with-adults-the-gender-stereotyping-we-do-with-kids-looks-as-ridiculous-as-it-is

To see and donate to an excellent entrepreneurial idea regarding children’s clothing go to: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jennneilson/jill-and-jack-kids-clothes-that-go-beyond-pink-and

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitt

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitter

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twi

Prenatal testing was a big reason for the change. Expectant parents learned the sex of their unborn baby and then went shopping for “girl” or “boy” merchandise. (“The more you individualize clothing, the more you can sell,” Paoletti says.)Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/#sBuMsCpjB1VMBQMR.99
Give the gift of Smithsonian magazine for only $12! http://bit.ly/1cGUiGv
Follow us: @SmithsonianMag on Twitte

If you’d like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74@gmail.com or tweet me @JudyAmy74.

 

 

 

W is for Why? Why Gap, Why? (Part 1 of a 3 (?) part series)

I wonder a lot. Like, a lot. About a lot of things. And I often wonder why. Here’s my latest wondering:

Harris is a wonderful almost 6 year-old boy, full of passion, depth, and excitement. I love watching him grow into a creative, caring, imaginative individual. Many times through out the day, he will practise his moves to “defeat the bad guys.” He plans on being a super-hero when he grows up and already knows the name of his alter ego: Super Runner. The other day he told a family friend that he was “trying to talk less because he wanted to be a man of action” and then proceeded to continue talking non-stop about his super-hero aspirations.

So, you might say Harris is a sterotypical boy. Except that his favourite colour is pink, he loves to have his nails painted and is always asking when he can wear lip gloss like his mom. He always chooses to be a princess in any role-play we do. And he wants to shop almost exclusively in the girl’s section.

I’m not worried about any of this. I love my son. But I do wonder why in 2014 it’s still such a boy or girl world. When we go into the Gap to do some shopping, he is drawn to the beautiful designs and bright sparkles on the girls t-shirts and passes by the dull sports numbers or the ubiquitous GAP logo on the front of the boys shirts.

English: The GAP logo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He has a shirt from the Gap that he loves to pieces. It’s blue with a picture of the London Eye on it. It also has sparkles and some small pink hearts. There was a Paris shirt that he was debating on because of the Eiffel Tower but in the end he chose the London one. There were no city shirts for boys, so even if I had wanted to steer him in a more neutral direction there was nothing comparable. So I bought him the one he wanted.

I wonder why the Gap design department doesn’t think boys would also like graphics like the ones I’ve seen on girls t-shirts–the Eiffel Tower, Big Ben, ferris wheels, hot air balloons, retro cameras, vintage cars (yes, vintage cars, but nary a one to be found in the Boy’s section) Maybe not all boys want them in pink or sequins like my son, but I am sure that many would like a break from skulls and sports numbers.

Harris has told me about a store he has invented in his head: one that isn’t divided into a Boys side and Girls side, but rather one where all the hoodies are organized in one spot, all the t-shirts are in another area, and so on. If you need some jeans, you go to the jeans department and find a style and fit that is right for you. It’s a great idea.

Gap purports to be accepting and welcoming of all. Their 2013 Holiday Campaign featured Indian Sikh-American, Waris Ahluwahlia, an actor and fashion designer–a fantastic, inclusive move. But somehow that inclusiveness has not extended to boys clothing. Arsalan Iftikhar wrote in the Daily Beast¹: “I want to live in an America where a fashion model can be a handsome, bearded brown dude in a turban who is considered as beautiful as a busty blonde-haired white girl in see-through lingerie.” He praised Gap for “doing a great job forging a path for minority and under-represented fashion models who do not conveniently fit into our traditional American notions of beauty and actually challenge how we have superficially defined those terms since our country’s existence.”

I want to live in that world too, but I also want to live in a world where it’s not just skulls, sports, and skateboarding for boys. My son doesn’t conveniently fit into traditional American notions of boyhood and I hope that one day Gap will forge a path for this minority as well and challenge the superficial definitions this country has of gender.

It’s a lot to ask of a clothing company. But on their official blog² they recently posted the following statement: We know that innovation is a key ingredient to our continued success and growth. To do this, we foster an environment where our employees can be themselves, challenge conventions and push boundaries to find ways of doing things better. I hope the Gap honours this promise and does their best to be innovative and challenge conventions. I could go somewhere else to shop for Harris, but I like the Gap. They just need to work on a few things. Like the rest of us.

BRIDGING THE GAP (Photo credit: Leo Reynolds)

Links:

1. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/11/26/gap-ad-featuring-an-indian-model-goes-viral-after-racist-vandalism.html
2. http://blogs.gapinc.com/blog/2014/3/26/winning-through-innovation.html

 

 

 

If you’d like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74@gmail.com or tweet me @JudyAmy74.

Laundry Haiku #2 or V is for Victory

Washed, dried, and folded
Every sock has found its mate:
One small victory.

Notes: V is for victory. Since my life is often chaotic I try to look at the small things for comfort and reassurance. Laundry is one of those things. When it is washed, dried, and folded I feel like I have accomplished something and I can look beyond the disaster that is the rest of my house. And when I don’t have any leftover socks, life is pretty awesome.