Thirty Year Anniversary

Thirty years ago
We became inseparable.
I was dependent on you.
I needed you.
I didn’t like you
But I couldn’t live without you.

Being so young,
I enjoyed the attention initially.
So much love and concern from so many people
That I forgot how you were continually
Hurting me while trying to save me.

People said it wouldn’t last.
10 years max, someone said.
I could deal with that.

As the years passed,
I looked at ways of improving
Our relationship.
One which wouldn’t see me being
So dependent on you.
But there never really seemed to be a good solution.
Not a practical one, anyway.

So here I am
Thirty years later.
I’m tired,
But what can I do?
You won’t leave.
I can’t leave.
I hate you and everything you have done to me
But the truth is
I’d die without you.

So my wish for you,
dear Insulin,
On this our anniversary,
Is that your Master may be wiped out of existence,
Erased.
Obliterated.
Leaving  me with only the faintest of memories
And traces of the marks you left behind.

Notes: It’s been 30 years since I was diagnosed as a child with Type 1 (Juvenile) Diabetes. Since that time, I estimate that I probably have enough holes in my body from blood tests and needles that I could hook myself up to a hose and become a sprinkler for our lawn. When I was first diagnosed, the doctor looked at my mom and me and said, “It’s nothing to worry about. There will be a cure in ten years.” I’m still waiting. In the meantime, I’m giving a donation to the Canadian Diabetes Association and hoping that I won’t have to celebrate another milestone. I’d rather celebrate a cure.

If you would like to contact me about this post or about anything else you’ve read please email me at: judyamy74@gmail.com or tweet me @JudyAmy74

 

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