My body is my own or C is for

My body is my own.
I can do with it as I please.
It is mine.

At least
It was mine.
Until you came along
And invaded it.

Stretched it, marred it,

C (Photo credit: chrisinplymouth)

Changed it forever.

I used to mar it on my own:
I marked it with knives
And disciplined, deliberate
Neglect.

You were more subtle
Pushing the boundaries
Month after month.
The only time in my life I was
Happy to be fat.

Years later,
After you returned my body to me,
you asked:
Why does your stomach look all wrinkly?
(Because you grew inside of me.)
Why do your breasts look so funny?
(Because I fed you and nourished you.)

I love you.
Because of you,
My body is less my own than
It ever was.
I could mar it, starve it
But the cost is not to me alone.
I have you now.

My body is my own
I can do with it as I please.
It is mine.
Only,
After sharing it with you
I feel as though I owe it to you
To keep it safe
Protect it from myself
As I strive to protect you.

Notes: This poem is about choice, commitment, change, and challenge. Maybe I should skip the rest of the alphabet and just stick to the Cs.