For J–Revisited

How long has it been?

15 years almost.

Not quite.

Long enough that we should be able to be civilized with one another.

 

After all,

I moved on

You moved on

We moved on,

But we were never a we anyway.

 

What are you thinking in your head when you look at me?

I ask you about your child, I tell you about mine.

Why the chill in the air?

It’s a party—lighten up.

Your wife seems lovely.

I’m happy for you. Truly.

Are you?

 

Why do you still look at me as though I have wronged you?

Betrayed you?

I did neither of these things.

Can you not admit it even now?

I am not the girl I once was and you are not the boy you once were.

We’re older now—parents, partners, grown-ups.

So why can’t you get past the past?

 

I’m not the girl you lost,

I was never yours to lose.

I’m not the girl who got away

I am a 38 year old mother of three

Trying to reconnect with an old friend.

But I’ll be honest—

we were never really friends, were we?

 

So please

Take me down off your pedestal.

I was never comfortable there anyway.

 

May 13, 2013

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